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I felt a sort of
change over the Summer in terms of my maturity and general mental attitude
towards pretty much everything. (Maybe it's the whole turning 20 deal... no
longer a teenager.) I have been going through some emotional issues (more like
roller coasters), though I'm slowly but surely learning how to handle them.
I'm taking on more this semester than ever before. Last year I was working almost 30 hours/week, taking 18 credits and living on my own, which was pretty insane. This led to a complete emotional/mental breakdown in the Spring which resulted in leaving my job despite the rent/bills/loans that needed to be paid. I then realized that while I loved living in the city, it just wasn't possible financially. When I first thought about moving out of my parents' house I didn't care what type of financial consequences there were. No matter how many loans I needed to take out or how many hours I needed to work outside of school I was going to live in the city. Granted, I had spent almost 10 years living in two different houses and during my freshman year I was essentially living between four (sometimes five) different places. That's pretty crazy when you think about it. I didn't have one place to keep my art supplies or work or sleep or anything like that. That was the hardest part of commuting was not having one place. So after thinking of all the possibilities of making city-living cheaper, I decided the best bet was to move back home. Using my security deposit, I invested in a studio desk, a new TV and a few other things that would make my commuting life a little easier. I also cleaned out EVERYTHING--closet, clothing, books and junk I hadn't seen in years. I essentially made a completely new start for me at home. After quite a few discussions with my parents and many trips to Home Depot and Goodwill, I finished my Summer classes at CCP, packed my things and moved back.
I had decided not to get a job over the Summer because by the time this all finished it was already the end of July and I was still recovering from the craziness. (Moving is hard work, you know?) I also wanted to see my girlfriend as much as possible since she also moved back with her parents and we wouldn't get to see each other much once my semester started.
So that brings me to the general purpose of this. I realized that this semester I'm taking on more responsibility and surprisingly it's not phasing me. I still have 18 credits (5 studios and a liberal arts class), I'm doing work study 8 hrs/week, tutoring when people need it and I'm a department representative (essentially a liaison between the GD department and the chairs/Student Government). To be a department rep you had to be recommended by teachers in your department so it still blows my mind that they recommended me. I have my reasons for that, but that's an entirely different story. Anyway, I'm learning how to handle all of the responsibility and while I am still struggling with a few personal issues, I feel myself becoming stronger. I'm becoming proud of the work that I'm doing and I'm becoming more confident in my skills as a designer. I'm also taking illustration classes and while it's a little unnerving to be in sophomore classes out of my department, I keep reminding myself that I was at this level in GD last year too and that my skills/knowledge will improve with time.
I keep thinking about my internship and what that will do for my career and I just get really excited. There are so many possibilities out there. I just need to focus on making my portfolio as bad-ass as it can get so that I can intern where ever my little heart desires.
I didn't really think about how I wanted to finish this post, it was more just a way for me to organize my thoughts about the changes I've been experiencing and just in general how excited I am for life even though it can be extremely stressful and emotional at times.
I'm taking on more this semester than ever before. Last year I was working almost 30 hours/week, taking 18 credits and living on my own, which was pretty insane. This led to a complete emotional/mental breakdown in the Spring which resulted in leaving my job despite the rent/bills/loans that needed to be paid. I then realized that while I loved living in the city, it just wasn't possible financially. When I first thought about moving out of my parents' house I didn't care what type of financial consequences there were. No matter how many loans I needed to take out or how many hours I needed to work outside of school I was going to live in the city. Granted, I had spent almost 10 years living in two different houses and during my freshman year I was essentially living between four (sometimes five) different places. That's pretty crazy when you think about it. I didn't have one place to keep my art supplies or work or sleep or anything like that. That was the hardest part of commuting was not having one place. So after thinking of all the possibilities of making city-living cheaper, I decided the best bet was to move back home. Using my security deposit, I invested in a studio desk, a new TV and a few other things that would make my commuting life a little easier. I also cleaned out EVERYTHING--closet, clothing, books and junk I hadn't seen in years. I essentially made a completely new start for me at home. After quite a few discussions with my parents and many trips to Home Depot and Goodwill, I finished my Summer classes at CCP, packed my things and moved back.
I had decided not to get a job over the Summer because by the time this all finished it was already the end of July and I was still recovering from the craziness. (Moving is hard work, you know?) I also wanted to see my girlfriend as much as possible since she also moved back with her parents and we wouldn't get to see each other much once my semester started.
So that brings me to the general purpose of this. I realized that this semester I'm taking on more responsibility and surprisingly it's not phasing me. I still have 18 credits (5 studios and a liberal arts class), I'm doing work study 8 hrs/week, tutoring when people need it and I'm a department representative (essentially a liaison between the GD department and the chairs/Student Government). To be a department rep you had to be recommended by teachers in your department so it still blows my mind that they recommended me. I have my reasons for that, but that's an entirely different story. Anyway, I'm learning how to handle all of the responsibility and while I am still struggling with a few personal issues, I feel myself becoming stronger. I'm becoming proud of the work that I'm doing and I'm becoming more confident in my skills as a designer. I'm also taking illustration classes and while it's a little unnerving to be in sophomore classes out of my department, I keep reminding myself that I was at this level in GD last year too and that my skills/knowledge will improve with time.
I keep thinking about my internship and what that will do for my career and I just get really excited. There are so many possibilities out there. I just need to focus on making my portfolio as bad-ass as it can get so that I can intern where ever my little heart desires.
I didn't really think about how I wanted to finish this post, it was more just a way for me to organize my thoughts about the changes I've been experiencing and just in general how excited I am for life even though it can be extremely stressful and emotional at times.
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It's hard for me to work in such an unorganized area. I also want to get a new iMac, but I don't even have the space for it. I also need new software... Unfortunately the only income I have right now is work study and Etsy/Ebay (which have been really slow as of late). I'm thinking I'll save up my work study checks for the computer/software. My plan is to buy any new hardware and software before I graduate so I can get the discounts.
This was sort of a random update, but hopefully soon I can post some finished work.
I am so excited to finally have some Fall weather. Cool breezes, the smell of fires burning, warm cobblers and stews, sweaters and fuzzy boots. It makes my heart flutter.
The past few weeks have been crazy to say the least. School has just started and it already feels like finals are just around the corner. I haven't had much time to actually make books which is disappointing. The only thing I can do is prepare book blocks and covers, but I don't have time to assemble them. We have two craft shows coming up in November... and I need at least 10 books for each. This should be interesting.
My work space has expanded, but it's not necessarily easier to work in. It'd be nice to have a studio space separate from my sleeping space, but beggars can't be choosers.
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| Some book blocks and covers |
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| Rather chaotic work space |
This was sort of a random update, but hopefully soon I can post some finished work.
